Athrun is a Butler!
by Miss Peeps
Summary: Please see title for summary.


The prompt:  
Given by: Lynx Camiswhil (aka Fate Camiswhil)  
Genre: Romance, Humor  
Rating: T  
Type of Story: One-shot, or more if you like...XD  
Additional Request: My suggested title is, "Athrun is a Butler!"  
Plot Idea: Athrun is Cagalli's butler...(─‿‿─)

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This is for the fanfic writing event on AsuCaga Forever Facebook page. Since one month isn't long enough (for me) to put together a cohesive one shot, this will come in three to five installments.

This fanfiction is dedicated to: Lynx Camiswhil. Honestly, I would have never thought of writing something like this without you.

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Fantasies: not a single soul is impervious to the sneaky time vampires. A moment's pause, a stray thought, and fifteen minutes vanish in daydreams of getting the perfect job, winning the lottery, or having ones enemy lick canine fecal matter off the sidewalk. Those without a second to spare are especially susceptible. Someone like Cagalli Yula Athha, the Chief Representative of the United Emirates of Orb. One misguided thought, and she was fantasizing about it again.

World Peace.

It consumed her mind. She believed with all her heart that she was a step closer to changing fantasy into reality. Just yesterday, she had flown from Orb to the other side of the globe to the newly established Principality of Northfort. Over the next week, Northfort would host the C.E. 75 World Leader's Summit. If she could leverage her influence in the right place at the right time, if she knew the right thing to say, perhaps the world would lean towards a more stable path. Cities would be rebuilt, children would have food… Fantasies.

At least those were her normal thoughts. Stress, need for sleep, more stress, even less sleep, and maybe a few too many poppy seed muffins resulting in the random misfire of neurons… Cagalli wasn't sure of the cause, but her subconscious had summoned up a new fantasy:

Athrun Zala cosplaying as a Vicortian Era butler. Cagalli was dreaming, clearly. A buzz filled her frontal cortex, the background details were nothing but fuzz. But Athrun…

He balanced a tea set on a silver platter next to his shoulder. The afternoon sun reflected off the platter and made his skin shine and his eyes sparkle like emerald-colored _diamonds_. Except for the white part; that part looked like a normal diamond.

Being a Coordinator, he didn't even wince at the glaring light in his face. His hair hung to his shoulders in blue waves like the ocean that manifest itself behind him. To complete the look, he wore a sharp tuxedo of the finest fabric. His bowtie was a rich purple and matched the color on the inside of his tailcoat.

Athrun flashed her a warm smile. "Madam Athha, your afternoon tea is ready," he said. For some reason, Athrun had picked up a British accent.

"Yes, you may leave it on my desk," said Cagalli. Her desk, covered in heaps of papers, appeared by the ocean.

"Very well. Would you care for skons with your tea?" he asked.

"What the heck is a skon?" said Cagalli.

"I believe in your dialect of English, the word is pronounced _scone_," said Athrun.

"I think I've heard of that." Cagalli thought for a moment. "Is it made of bacon?"

"No madam, a skon is a type of pastry."

"I see." Cagalli contemplated the pastry. "Does it come with red chili sauce?"

"…No madam, it's a pastry."

"I see…"

"If you so desire, shall I have a skon prepared for you with bacon and chili sauce?"

"That sounds fantastic!"

Athrun Zala the butler put the tea down on her desk and walked off. Cagalli sat and began going through her papers. It looked like she had some bills to sign.

_PLANT agrees to the terms of the disarmament treaty as laid out by Orb._ Please sign.

"Fantastic!" said Cagalli. She signed the paper.

_The members of the former Earth Alliance agree to pay exactly 2.41 bazillion dollars in reparations for the benefit of pitiful war orphans_. Please sign.

"It's about time!" She signed.

_Chief Representative Cagalli Yula Athha agrees to get married to an Orb noble and have at least five children by the time she is twenty-seven. _

"Gyah!" Cagalli screeched, throwing the paper into the wind. How the heck did that get in her stack? Veto!

"Madam Athha, I have your bacon-chili-sauce skons," said Athrun.

Cagalli turned her head. Athrun's silver platter now boasted a foot-high heap of bacon drenched in red chili sauce. Cagalli's jaw fell slack. "That's a lot of bacon," she said. "So this is a scone?"

"Yes ma'am, this most certainly is a skon," said Athrun. He put it down on her desk and smiled. Birds fell out of the sky trying to catch a glimpse of his face.

"Athrun, you look extremely handsome today," said Cagalli.

"Yes, I know," said Athrun. "You can thank your subconscious."

Cagalli nodded. She grabbed a piece of chili-covered bacon and shoved it in her mouth. The only thing that would look sexier on Athrun other than the butler suit would be…

Instantly, Cagalli's subconscious obliged her fantasy.

Now, Athrun wore nothing but a tuxedo-style speedo. The sight was something else. Athrun didn't have an ounce of fat on him. Every inch was sleek muscle. The speedo itself was a miniature copy of the tuxedo he wore before, complete with a small tailcoat in the back. The only difference was that instead of a purple bow tie, the tuxedo speedo had a regular purple tie that served as a pocket for…

Two knocks, soft enough to convey the required courtesy, sharp enough to be heard. A voice from the real world invaded the beach-butler fantasy.

"Ma'am, I have your breakfast."

Speedo-butler Athrun winked. "Time to wake up," he said.

'All good dreams must come to an end,' she thought. With the utmost reluctance, Cagalli forced her eyelids to unglue. A dark room greeted her, and Athrun the butler was gone. She had to wonder what brought about that dream.

'Principality of Northfort. World Leader's Summit. World Peace.' she reminded herself. She scanned the room for the familiar glowing red numbers. 'Six thirty?' She was surprised. Cagalli only arrived in Northfort the day before, and logic dictated that jet lag would wake her long before six.

She yawned and rolled her shoulders. Cagalli was more exhausted than she thought. Indeed, so exhausted that she had fallen asleep on _top_ of the bed wrapped in a soft, warm, fresh-linen-smelling, fluffy white towel. And nothing else. Said towel had since been discarded on the imaginary beach with her speedo butler.

"Lights on," said Cagalli. The room made no response. "Lights on," she repeated. Still nothing. What kind of hotel was this? No voice command for the lights? Cagalli slid off the bed and groped blindly for a lamp. She remembered one being around here somewhere…

Three knocks, slight louder, still polite. "Ma'am?"

"Just a minute!" she called out towards the door. Cagalli slipped out of bed and groped blindly for the lamp. She knew one was in here somewhere; she remembered seeing one the night before. Maybe to the left.

Thunk. Cagalli's knee hit piece of furniture. She took in a sharp breath and bit her lip to keep herself from swearing out loud. She reached for her knee to cradle the wound. A cool metal pole brushed against her shoulder.

Then she heard a wobbling sound. And then something dragging against the wall followed a deep scraping noise, the clatter of metal on the floor, shattering glass, and a reverberating thud.

"I'm coming in!" said the voice.

"No, no!" Cagalli tried to stop him.

The lock clicked. She barely had a second. Cagalli ripped the entire comforter off the bed and threw it over herself covering everything but her face. Light spilled into the room from the hall. From the peep hole in the comforter, Cagalli saw the silhouette of the hotel butler.

"Lights please," he said. The lights turned on.

He looked around the room in shock. A glass sculpture lay shattered on the floor next to a metal lamp, a large painting had fallen off the wall, and the Chief Representative of Orb hid underneath the comforter. "Cagalli, are you alright?" he asked.

Cagalli forgot about the throbbing pain in her knee. She was still dreaming. The man in the doorway was Athrun, dressed up as a butler. Tuxedo, tailcoat, silver platter. No… She wasn't sleeping.

"Athrun?" she nearly shouted.

"What happened?" demanded Athrun.

"Wha… What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in a month!"

He winced and put a finger in front of his lips. "Don't shout." Athrun stepped inside and shut the door. "You'll attract the attention of the other guests."

"Why are you dressed up as a butler?" she asked.

"Trust me, I have a good reason for being here, but right now, I can't tell you why."

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To be continued…


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